The X-Files... in my own home? The other day, as I was working on the computer, my dad out to me "Hey, what's with the water in your room?!" So I walk over to my study room and I see a big puddle on the carpet by my bag, spanning 5 feet in diameter. Where did this water come from? I checked the water bottles in my bag, and they were fairly dry and well-tightened. The inside of my bag was only moist, probably from soaking in water on the floor. But what was odd is that I had water ON the cover of my bag, which was flipped open. So where could this water have come from? My mom and dad used our dishwasher for the first time in YEARS... perhaps a cracked pipe? But there was a little puddle on top of a small magazine holder that stood on metal legs about 2 cms off the ground. My jeans, which were drapped over a chair, but not touching the ground, were damp too... as was my jacket hanging off the back of the chair.

So here's my theory. A human-shaped entity made up of water, slipped through the crack in my garage and into my house. It got as far as my study, before it heard noises from upstairs -- most likely from my parents who were cleaning the house. In a desperate attempt to avoid being seen, it jumped into my study room. Unfortunately, it didn't realize the texture change in the flooring (from a vinyl floor to carpet) and splashed on impact, leaving a wet mess in the middle of my floor with no traces around a fairly uniform area.

That bastard.

"You're making me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry!!!" I watched The Hulk, and I thought it was decent. It was a little long and a little slow (Cy fell asleep... twice, I think). The special effects and CGI were cool and fun to watch, although not really too believable. They left the ending open to a sequel too, but not in a lame the-bad-guys-not-dead kind of way. The transitions between scenes were a little too distracting though. They tried to make it kind of comic book-like, I guess, but the effect was a constant flipping between angles through split screens and irregular wipes. At the end of the day, $13.95 is far too much to spend on a movie... ANY MOVIE.

Man, I feel like a woman! I've never dressed in drag, not to the best of my recollection.... until this past weekend. Why? I can't say right now. All will be revealed in a few weeks. No, I'm not coming out of the closet. And no, I will probably never do this again. Anyway, wigs are hot and bothersome. Sock-stuffed bras don't stay up too well. Lipstick is messy and gets over clothes easily. Looking pretty is tough... even more so when you're not even a good looking guy. So hats off to all the ladies out there that can do this day in and day out.

What a crazy day. Today, we had our "Executive Carwash" at work, which is a fundraiser for United Way (charity for underprivileged kids). I volunteered to help out with ticket sales and whatever else. We also had a dunk tank that I was on the list for (along with 10 or so other people). So, in short, we're raising money for United Way Lower Mainland by selling car washes, burgers & food, and with the dunk tank. The dunk tank was a new idea this year, and it turned out to be a success. So here's my story. Today's weather was cloudy with little bits of rain. A tradition that started last year was that there'd be a water fight, some Wireless software guys would load the back of their trucks up with ice from outside an ice rink, and start dousing people with water. I was the 2nd last dunkee... but FORTUNATELY, when I stepped up to the plate, I got 4 big buckets of slush from the truck poured into the tank. Great.

I didn't think it would be a big deal, so I kept my glasses on. Well, they came off and into the water on the first drop. DAMN... THAT WATER'S COLD!! Anyway, I couldn't bare to stand in the so-recently-chilled water long enough to look for my glasses, so I took a soft mop and pushed everything in the water towards the front of the dunk tank such that I wouldn't step on it.

My gig was that I was yelling insults at the throwers, you know, things like "You trying to get me wet?! The only thing that you can get wet is your BED!"... just for fun and to get people lining up for me. It is charity after all... and it seemed to work. I went down a record 9 times into this freezing water, and believe me, it was unbarable (but I couldn't exactly just up and leave). I don't know if this means I was the most popular, or the most hated... or the most popular to hate. Either way, I guess I'll be proud of my accomplishments. Now I need to focus on not catching a nasty cold (which I feel coming on already).

I took a warm/hot shower for 15 mins, came out, and was still shaking. So I went back in for another 5 mins. A few hours later, I was exhausted. You wouldn't believe how stressing that kind of thing is on your body. In fact, I spoke to 3 other dunkees, and they were all REALLY tired.

Now, I came up with a brilliant idea. I did this for the kids... and so I think they owe me one. I suggested to a few coworkers that we all go down to United Way with some buckets of icy water, and find them lil' bastards... [SPLASH!] "Now what do YOU think of THAT?!"

Maybe another day I'll talk about how bad shrinkage can get after 9 dunks into icy water... and where the worst place to get frost bite is.

Does food taste better when it's free or when you've paid too much for it? Let's think about this for a second. On the one hand, free food tastes good because you paid nothing for it. On the other hand, when you paid $44.95 + tax for lamb chops at a hi-end French restaurant, don't you MAKE it taste good? So which one tastes better?

I guess I would have to argue that free food tastes better. At the end of the day, I'm full, and I've still got my $50+ in my wallet.

HEEEEEEEHHAAAAAAWWWWWW!! Would you like to be a donkey? Our Mexican travelling musical troop is looking for a hardworking person willing to be a donkey for us and carry our bags and equipment. Have you ever watched The Three Amigos and said to yourself "I wish I could be a donkey too!" Well, today's your day because here's your chance! We will generously pay you 125 pesetas a week, and provide you with drinking water (on hot days only) and soaked bread. For more information, please call Los Hijos de Putas at 1-800-HEE-HAWW.

Applicant must have strong legs with no history of back problems.

Be happy with who you are. Be happy with what you have. That's what they say, right? Do you believe in that 100%? Because I don't really buy that. People who are happy with who they are are most likely those that will never improve on themselves. People who are happy with what they have never see the need to want more, and hence will probably never attain more. Of course, it's not all black and white. The saying is subject to interpretation. While, I, for example, am completely content with who I wake up as each morning, I still constantly analyze and criticize myself and my actions. I think about who I am, who I want to be, where I am, and where I want to be. I think about how I react to people and situations, and how I think I should be reacting. I have a continuous subconscious mental typerwriter that keeps notes on what it sees me doing. I believe that most people have a similar mental mechanism or monologue, but they just don't do anything with it. From time to time, we need to sit down, and just read through the notes and ponder on each bullet point. I think it is absolutely critical, and are an important step towards self-improvement and, ultimately, happiness.

So how do you make the most of the precious time handed to you? Start by making a list, and answering a few questions. [Some of these ideas have been salvaged from a "Reach Your Potential" talk by Tracey Gurton I sat in a little while ago...]

- Who do you think you are -- what kind of a person do you perceive yourself as being?
- What kind of a person do you think others see you as? (i.e. they'd say "Kevin is a ______. He's so ______, ______, and _______")
- What kind of a person do you hope others would see you as?
- What is the one thing you would change about yourself? And how would/could you do it?
- What is your ideal lifestyle in 5, 10, 20 years? What is the state of your financials, health, family, etc?
- How realistic is that lifestyle?
- What is the next step you can take now to acheive that lifestyle in 5, 10, 20 years?

The idea here is to set goals for yourself. If you don't have goals, you won't achieve them. Plain and simple. In this case, take your ideal lifestyle as your goal... and run with it. Only when you are making strides towards your goals (or if you've achieved them already... though I can't imagine that any of you have) can you truly be happy with what you have and who you are. That is my belief.

Being Friday, and seeing how my mind is somewhat distracted from doing work, I thought I might spark a small discussion here that you can all participate in. Clubs. As part of my lacking childhood, I didn't go clubbing until well into university. And even as sparsely as I go now, I'm more of a clubber now than ever. So, here's the topic: what are the best clubs/lounges/restaurants in the Greater Vancouver area? They don't even really have to be the best, just places you recommend others visit at least once. Give us a name, some pros, some cons, some other random information about the place. I'll start.

Crush Lounge, Vancouver: Went to this place for the first time recently. Fairly good ambience, got really crowded. Lots of sitting area, comfy chairs. Drinks weren't too badly priced. I wasn't quite feelin' the music (kinda retro, 70's, 80's), but I guess it was ok for lounging.

Rain Premiere Lounge and Grill, Burnaby: Again, only been here once, and it was for a Canucks game. I wouldn't recommend it for a Canucks game... especially when they're going to lose. Only one big screen (which wasn't that big), and the site lines weren't good unless you sat in the center circle. But the place is nicely decorated, looking really modern... and you can't beat 10-cent wings (Wednesdays, w/ purchase of $5 of drinks).

11 o'clock AM on the dot. Don't it feel good to be Friday? As with most things I decide to take on, I'm trying to overload myself with volleyball. I've got the Thursday league, I've joined the remaining 3 sessions of a volleyball clinic on Fridays, and I'm starting to come out for all-day-Sunday volleyball too. It really gives me something to look forward to towards the end of my work week. Sure, we could argue that my M.Eng work is suffering, but I wasn't really working on that anyway. 6 hours to go before this day ends... and the fun begins. YEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWW!!!

Have you ever spent two minutes reading something, and wished you had never started when you got to the end?

That will never happen here. Here, you will always find something useful to take home with you. You will feel like your life is so much simpler, yet so much fuller. And you will want to visit this site (http://kkoa.blogspot.com) over and over again. And you will...