Who says everyone is born equal?

I have a lot of friends who have recently had babies, and I can tell you from first eye experience that they aren't all born equal. Not all babies are cute. Some have weird spots on their faces, and some are fat and ugly. But what can you do? You still have to love them all the same.

What say you? Well, I never!

It's frickin' boiling here in Taiwan. But, at least I found a solution to my zipper problem.

At the start of my trip to Cambodia (end of January this year), my North Face knock-off backpack zipper derailed from one side of the zipper rendering it useless and extremely annoying. Instead of two functional zipper tabs like most backpacks have, I only had one since - meaning to close the zipper, I need to pull the one working tab all the way to the other end of the track.

Everyone I asked (including tailors) said that once a zipper separates, game over: it's broken and can't be fixed. It's also because the end of the zipper is sewn over by another material of the backpack, making the zipper stop inaccessible. So until now, I just bared with the annoyance searching for a better plan of action.

Alas, last night I had an epiphany as I examined the problem again. Perhaps a simple and unoriginal solution, but it didn't occur to me before:

I cut the side of the zipper from which the zipper tab derailed near the end of the track (where it disappears into the sewn-over material). Then I just pulled the zipper tab down past that cut point, and followed steps 3 - 7 from this How to Fix a Separated Zipper article. Done!

Works perfectly, with only a < 1 cm loss to the bag's opening. I'm proud of me.

I was at a loss for something to blog about before the weekend. But a topic emerged as I took some sick time off work to run some errands (I know... I'm Kevin and I'm sick).

Hsinchu's first Mister Donut opened today in Downtown Hsinchu, across from the train station. Mister Donut is a Japanese donut store, whose clever marketing apparently reduced the size of their donuts to better fit the hands of its Asian consumers. F that. I want a big donut. Since coming to Taiwan, Mister Donut has enjoyed the success of a mob effect that is Taiwanese culture. It's a completely unjustified "wow, that's a long line... must be good" reaction. Incidentally, I scootered by the train station after finishing 3 of my 4 errands, and beheld an incredible sight: the line up stemming from the new Mister Donut. My guess was in the range of 300 people, but I didn't stay around to count. People, these are just DONUTS. They are artery-clogging deep-fried dough with holes. Also keep in mind that the current temperature in Hsinchu is 30.5 degrees Celsius. Are you NUTS?! Better get some coffee with that donut, heat stroke, and heart attack. Long line ups are nothing new to grand openings... but considering the weather conditions, and given the ROI (donuts.), it just doesn't make sense. However, long queues in front of Mister Donuts are a common sight in Taipei, and I just don't get it.

[Okay, those of you with elephant memories at home may draw parallelisms to another posting from almost 2.5 years ago (sorry, the photos and video are gone). At least I made it worth my while with 2 dozen donuts... of which I ate between 15 - 18 in the following 3 days. I'm still cleansing my blood vessels to this day.]

Desperate for Housewives

I admit, I'm hooked on Desperate Housewives. Not being in North America, I didn't know about all the hype around the show, so I was a little slow catching up. I didn't even watch it when I first had the chance. But as soon as I started, it was one episode right after the other.

So, there's murder, deceit, romance, jealousy, and plenty of comedy to go around. Basically, it's got all the elements of a trashy Tory Spelling dramatic series... at yet it manages to keep its head above the unearthly, undignified sludge associated with Tory's work (personal opinion perhaps). Actually, I used to be a fan of Melrose Place back in highschool, which incidentally the actors behind characters Bree Van De Kamp and Tom Scavo spent some time. But where someone might say "Desperate Housewives? That's a great show!", you'd be hard-pressed to hear someone to say "Melrose Place? Great writing!". No, Melrose was crap, we all knew that... but it was entertaining crap.

Among the four housewives, hands down I like Felicity Huffman's character Lynette Scavo the most. Smart, attractive, completely quirky, and hilarious.

So, that's my posting on Desperate Housewives. Can't wait to finish Season 2.

Let's roll around the block and see what the rich people drive.

Got time? Take a look at the top 100 celebrities of 2006. How they can award these rankings when we haven't even gotten past the first half of the year is beyond me. Most of these "Pay"s are just vomit-inducing.

Warning to the reader: This particular posting deals with a mature subject matter. It is graphic. Very graphic. You may not enjoy it. Turn away now.

What's the best way to take a stool sample?

I have an annual health exam this coming weekend, for which I am required to provide a stool sample. Administering the collection of stool is never pleasant. There's just no way to do it holding your head up high.

Last year, I had a plastic vial with some liquid (maybe water?) in it, and from the underside of the cap was a pipe-cleaner-type extension, like the head of the Oral-B Interdental Brush system. I took a lot of tissue folded up, delivered a small controlled chunk of poop on the tissue whilst holding it, and brushed up a small sample.

This year, it's the plastic container seen in the photo to the right, with a little plastic shovel for collecting the sample... or eating yogurt.

So, how do I scoop? Well, they don't really need that much poop to work with. I don't need to fill the bottle. Do I follow what I did last year or try something new? If I position everything correctly, Maybe I could scrap the side of a log as it comes out.

Who dare reply?

Taiwanese people give non-Taiwanese/Chinese foreigners who speak Chinese a lot of attention. Heck, I find it fascinating too. Every so often, I'll turn the boobtube and see Chinese-speaking foreigners as regulars or guests on TV shows. I guess they never make it as far as being on a scripted show (dramas, etc), but their novelty is enough to get on one of the many game or talk shows.

Here are a few examples:

瑪格麗特 (Margerite): [1 | 2 | 3 ] This Russian damsel is a regular on a popular Taiwanese game show. She's also an item with the famous singer/show host (in the pictures with the beard). Her Chinese is only so-so, she's not all that funny, she's not that attractive (a la Leelee Sobieski)... but... she's not ugly, she's white, she has a figure, and she speaks Chinese. Good enough for most people here.

Jeffrey: [Couldn't find a link] Jeff is a young Canadian guy who hosts an English-teaching TV show. His Chinese is PHENOMENAL. Ok, I give props to him, even if he does dress really gay on the show. No, I don't mean it like "oh, that's so gay!"... well, it is. Com'on, he wears hugging jeans, a sleeveless jean vest, and a red hankerchief around his neck. Unlike any Canadian I know. I'm not sure if he does it because he/they think it's "children-friendly". But a red flag should pop up when Taiwanese parents see their kids wanting to be Macho Men singing YMCA. But his Chinese is incredible. AC tells me that sometimes if she doesn't look at the TV screen, she could mistaken him for a local. Although, here and there, I hear some phonetic mistakes, but I'll let those slide.

Nicky Lee: [ 1 ] Nicky's a Korean-American from LA, and made famous in Asia by being part of the Machi Hip-Hop group. His Chinese is broken and strongly accented, but he was never supposed to be known for that anyway. I see his baby-face far too often in advertisements and guest appearances on any show. Either way, hugely popular (with the young girls). Ok, credit goes to Machi for actually being a pretty decent hip-hop group, and not a lame bunch of guys trying to be hip-hop.

A while ago, I went to a book exhibition at the Taipei World Trade Center. There was a Polish guy who spoke Chinese better than me! Very fluent, very impressive.

I met an English girl at a friend's party, and she's been here for 3 years. Her Chinese is pretty good and very fast. She knows words that I don't know.

Ok, now I'm a Canadian-Born Chinese (CBC). And I already speak Chinese better than most Taiwanese CBCs, and I can argue that given my surroundings, I'm not expected to speak fluently. But when I come to Taiwan and see a lot of foreigners speaking better in my family tongue, should I be embarrassed or ashamed?

Since around mid-August 2005, I started to use "KevinXXX" in my MSN name. Here's the list of names (in order of appearance) I've used over that time. Some turned out better than others.

Kevinessence, Kevinopoly, Kevinosaur, Kevinicious, Kevinalogy, Kevination, Kevinitis, Kevinaria, Kevinalysis, Kevinacity, Kevinarium, Kevinesque, Kevinadum, Kevinatorial, Kevinacious, Kevinapple, Kevinexus, Kevinada, Kevineo, Kevinator, Kevinuple, Kevinessent, Kevinotar, Kevinopa, Kevin-eleven, Kevinatus, Kevinaphobia, Kevinatrix, Kevinia, Kevinichiban, Kevinarcism, Kevincible, Kevinactor, Kevinalopolus, Kevinci, Kevinexant, Kevinary, Kevinocity, Kevinotorius, Kevinite, Kevinipple, Kevingineer, Kevinoxious, Kevinjamin, Kevinoria, Kevinasm, Kevintrapment, Kevinatory, Kevinocious, Kevinology, Kevinphoria, Kevinichi, Kevinacus, Kevintry, Kevinelly, Kevinistry, Kevinility, Kevince, Kevinosis, Kevintasy, Kevinaria, Kevinasal, Kevinella, Kevinichiwa, Kevintation, Kevinistic, Kevindipity, Kevinality, Kevinatorium, Kevindo-China, Kevinyoface, Kevinertia, Kevinski, Kevino, Kevinano, Kevinanoless, Kevinini, Kevinger, Kevinita, Kevinomics, Kevinade, Kevinconceivable, Kevinastic, Kevinaigrette, Kevinolly, Kevindian, Kevincompetent, Kevindom, Kevinegar, Kevinivek, Kevineer, Kevindoors, Kevintricacy, Kevinplicity, Kevinsane, Kevinotion, Kevindonesia, Kevinasium, Kevin-n-outburger, Kevindeisel, Kevinism, Kevinsomnia, Kevincomprehensible, Kevinteger, Kevinasty, Kevinteraction, Kevinio, Kevinoffice, Kevinish, Keviny, Kevincarceration, Kevinnicle, Keviness, Kevinauseous

Those Canadians, eh?

Here's something you don't see every day. A guy named Adam Scott, from our nation's capital, put himself on a primate meal diet whereby only eating monkey food for one week. The test is to see whether a human could get by eating "a complete and balanced diet for the nutrition of primates, including the great apes." His experiment has garnered quite a following (not a following of people eating Monkey Chow, but a following of his experiment updates). It's interesting. Really.


The website.
The blog.
The videos are accessible through his website.

Mismash posting.

Over the weekend, I attended a Canadian Alumni Network event. The "Homecoming" event was held at the Apollo Restaurant at the Agora Garden, a fairly classy venue. The gathering turned out to be better than I had expected, and it was nice to be put in a social environment again - handshaking and handing out business cards. There'll be an SFU Taiwanese Alumni ice-breaker at the end of the month, so I'll try to attend that too.

Last night, it was raining like I hadn't seen in a while. Just pissing. I spent my day (yesterday) at a customer site, and I saw one car-meets-scooter accident on my way back to the office (~5 mins away), and another on my way home from the office (~10 mins). Scootering in heavy rain sure is dangerous.

Right after I finished yesterday's dinner, I sneezed hard, causing some leftover food fragment to lodge near my nasal cavity. I've had this before, usually a grain of rice or something, and the discomfort is astounding. With enough nose-blowing or back-of-the-throat movement, it comes out the nose or through the mouth. My attempts to blow it out my right nostril was to no avail, but it later freed itself in my mouth on my scooter ride home. I never saw it before I spit it out, but I can say that it was bigger than could fit through my nose... and was covered in mucus. A piece of meat, I think. Ick.

My washroom seems to have been overtaken by ants. I only noticed a couple of days ago, but when I did notice, they were already all over the place - though not in great numbers. It's strange because I don't have any food around my place; and besides that, I only see them in the washroom. If it's not raining this evening, I'll make a trip to purchase some kind of anti-ant solution.

While searching online for "Kane and Abel" to learn its story (should I be ashamed about not already knowing?), I came across this website: varsityessays.com. Built to make money off slacking or overworked college students, this website offers a plethora of papers crossing a variety of course topics.

Back in university/college, do you think you would have ever taken advantage of such a resource? Truthfully.

Truthfully? Probably not. For 2 reasons:
1) They aren't likely to have useful Engineering "essays". While I did take a Criminology 101, that was probably the only non-science-related course I took in my 5 years. But in all fairness, under their "Technology" section, there are a few papers that are probably interesting reads.
2) I would have been too cheap to pay for it.

While watching the NBA Western Conference Finals (Suns vs. Mavericks, Game 4) yesterday, I was surfing YouTube.com just going from video to video. I came across a series of videos I'd like to share with you. Ask A Ninja.com is a source of answers to questions asked by the everyday wonderer. You won't learn anything, but you'll probably be at least mildly entertained by its sheer ridiculousness. Enjoy.