I have fruit flies. Bred in captivity (i.e. my place). I'm not proud of it at all.

Since 1.5 days ago, the death toll stands at 34, and rising. There are still survivors.

I know my folks, who read my blog, will tell me that I must have food out, that my place is dirty, etc. And it's not! I don't really leave food out (although I am guilty of leaving empty glasses of orange juice overnight once in a while) and my place isn't that dirty.

Well, this is the general breakdown of the cause of deaths.

• approx 10 killed by the home remedy provided by Kel: sugar + dishwashing detergent + water
  
• approx ~2 found dead by themselves - just keeled over and died!
  
• approx ~22 killed by yours truly - by hand and foot (really, I squashed a few with my feet)*

*I found an effective way to attract fruit flies last night. I turn on my TV and switch it to Video 1 (which is a blue screen if there is no signal). The fruit flies seem to like it, and they fly up and walk around on the TV screen. At that point, Kevin's hand comes along and WHACK! Assassinated. And the glass screen also makes it easy to wipe excess bug. In < 10 mins, I killed 5 or 6 this way.

Anyway, this is where you guys go "EEWWWWWWWwww!!".

I think I would get along with myself. I think my attitude towards others is about the same as what I'd like to receive from others. At least that's what I think. I sometimes make silly comments (for example, in reply to a question) that other people might find humorous, but that I probably wouldn't find so funny when I'm waiting to get a serious answer. And I could probably think of a few examples where I would totally piss myself off, but other than those few rare moments, I think we would get along well.

I'm sure there are a lot of people who do/say things that would tick them off if it were done/said to them. I have a coworker who is pretty impatient with others and has a terse attitude when speaking to people. At the same time, he also seems like the kind of person who can't stand being treated disrespectfully. He wouldn't get along with himself.

The topic here isn't whether other people would get along with you, but simply whether you would get along with an exact replica of yourself - maybe not physically (because no one wants to see your ugly mug twice), but in attitude, personality, speech, nuances, habits, and so on. They say opposites attract. So, do duplicates repel?

So... would you?

According to this article, Taiwan is losing its grip on piracy.

The Taiwanese need to reset a long term goal of being Market Leader in piracy. Those Chinese Mainlanders across the way are diligent. They have a clear population advantage and a booming movie-viewing demographic. The Taiwanese need to establish a competitive position through quality piracy. Gone are the days of head-bobbing in-theatre bootlegs. Today, only production house espionage, "For Academy Award Consideration", and straight DVD-to-DVD burns are worthy of satisfying the craving movie-watching community.

As with most industries, there's bound to be adversity. Multimedia piracy has been met with anti-piracy task forces, competition from Torrents, and haters. But with moderate effort, I think this black market will rise above those setbacks and succeed. Coalitions and co-operation between underground independent operators will only make the market demand stronger. Lower prices, promotions, and spreading the word through Piracy Awareness Programs - letting people know that such things exist and can be purchased - are viable solutions to expanding the Taiwanese piracy cause.

There's still a long way to go, but I think we can do it!!

My new coworker's name is Benjamin. SHE started today.

A lot of Taiwanese people (and Chinese people) have odd English names. Many of them seem so random, so wrong, so that's-not-a-name. It's partly because people want to have original names. They think Kevin's too common, Wendy's too common, so they start making up names.

Running through the employee list, here are a few strange ones. They can be categorized into The Adjectives, The Misspellt, and The Say-What?. None of these names are directly translated from their Chinese names. I also put these names through a search in thinkbabynames.com to weed out a few rare names that are actually names.

The Adjectives:
Happy [M] (I'm sure you are)
Smart [M] (actually, this one's from China)

The Misspellt:
Jully [F]
Tomson [M]
Jamy [M]

The Say-What?:
Acme [M] (This was chosen using closed eyes and a finger in a dictionary)
Dinlin [F] (I'm sorry...?)
Dis [M] (Would hate to get Dis'ed)
Jaw [M] (like, hit you in the...?)
Jurcy [M] (MMmmm, them oranges sure are Jurcy...)
Manton [M] (means: "Man's or hero's town")
Morven [F] (Not sure how she chose this...)
Pagan [M] (means: "Countryman", but has come to mean "heathen")
Rabi [M] (I will be at the Bar Mitzvah)
Samun [M] (My favorite type of sashimi)
Solo [M] (He must idolize Mario Van Peebles)

And my absolute favorite employee name at my company is:
Captain [M]

Any odd names you've heard?

Ay ay, and Goodbye!!

Feeding Frenzy

Mid-Autumn Festival, one of the biggest holidays in Chinese culture, is upon us. We had a M.A.F. celebration last night, which I helped organize (as a member of the Employee Committee). We had a KTV (karaoke) contest, as well as a buffet, on the 7th floor of our building. It was a busy day, getting things prepared for the 6:30pm start. The catering was poorly timed, as the first shipment of food arrived at 5:30pm, but the second shipment hadn't arrived at 6:30pm. Not long after 6:30pm, there was a trickle of a few employees arriving... and the crack turned to a hole as the entire company flooded through the staircase and elevator doors.

The second shipment hadn't arrived, and we didn't have any plates or utensils. Now here's where things got interesting. We have a company of 200+ people... mainly computer engineers and highly-educated... but lacking in sophistication. As they arrived, they headed straight to the food. Seeing that there were no plates, they just started picking with their hands. The saran wrap hadn't even been taken off the food trays!! Most of the food could be considered finger food, but not all. Everyone swarmed the buffet table instead of filing in a line working from left to right. It was like a pack of wilderbees coming across a river in the Serengeti during a drought. Very very surprising how lowly these people looked, picking at food with their hands. Eventually, the cupboards were opened and we had people use small plates, small bowls, and cups to eat. I saw some employees using their own tupperware as bowls. It was one big mess of people. Good thing I ate before we started. :)

As AC says, Taiwanese people have too much freedom; so much that they cross the line to having no rules or manners. Ain't that a fact.

Marketing is a beautiful thing. It can take a mundane P.O.S. and make it sound fabulous with everything you want. Ever think what you might call some everyday things if you had the power?

• Hundai Justenough


• Pontiac AtoBbutnotC


• A box of Kleenex WetSnotOnYourHands


• Randy River Shink-in-Wash shirts


• Versace OverPriced&Ugly Signature Fall line-up


• Perrier Fizzypee


• Adidas notSuitableForDroopyBalls running shorts


• McDonald's McLardass, McCalories, McLovehandles

How would you rename some common products out there?

Here's what I've come up with: A city of shameless people is likely to find itself ruined by shameless acts.

You can expand that to "a society", in general. It occurred to me that in Canada, people are fairly self-conscious about their actions. They don't want to be seen or caught doing something embarrassing or unethical. In other words, they care about what other people might say and think - thus, the standard in which the society operates is kept higher than otherwise.

In Taiwan, many people (in particular those of an older generation) have very little shame. Making strange sounds in public, doing things that are considered crude by North American standards, and not giving much considering to those around them. This results in a much less refined culture, which I guess is where they started from. It's obvious how people here don't care too much about others past themselves, families, and friends. People in the street will bump into you, push you from behind if you're in a line-up, hulk up phlegm, pick their noses, cut you off in traffic, etc. I mean, there are nice people too, but the overall impression is often set by the worst of them.

Since I get a day off due to typhoon, it seems appropriate to make that my subject today.

I didn't realize until a couple days ago that the outward cone from typhoon report maps were showing the probability path of the typhoon. In otherwords, in their best prediction, meteorologist believe a typhoon will eventually move within this cone as the days progress. I always thought it was an indication of the size of the storm. I'd be like "Holy crap! That typhoon is going to cover the entire island (Taiwan) in two days!" Glad I figured that out.

Also, as part 2 of this posting, I want to know who gets the fun job of naming typhoons and hurricanes. I wonder if most of these are names of ex-boyfriends/girlfriends/spouses. If I was entitled to that power, I would start giving stupid names that would either confuse everyone or that everyone would hate saying. I would give a Hurricane the name "Tornado", as to call it "Hurricane Tornado". Or Typhoon Wallachitakamurokitrabani, Hurricane Twrantgpp, Hurricane YoMama, Typhoon Kill-Everyone, and so on.

Go ahead, name a natural disaster.

I was shocked to find my bicycle sprawled across the pavement when I finished my workout this evening. My bicycle was beaten up by some thugs. I parked in a small parking lot right next to my office building where late-arrivers park their scooters when the main parking lot is full. The malicious act left my poor baby on the ground, rear brake handle rotated from its original position, and even worse, basket badly warped. If my bike owned a wallet, I'm sure that would have been taken too.

It didn't take me long to realize what this was about. The culprit was clearly a scooterer who, without the courtesy to stand it back up, knock my bike over and left it for dead. These so-called "Bicycle Hate Crimes" are becoming more common and is plaguing what otherwise seems like a docile Science and Technology Park environment.

It's time to take action! I am going to constitute a Science and Technology Park Neighborhood Bike Watch. No more shall we be victims of such tasteless acts of inconsideration, I say. No more.

Anyway, I'm going to scooter to work tomorrow. Maybe kick over a bike or two.

The more I hear, the more I think Taiwanese men are some of the most disloyal husbands in the world. Exaggeration, possibly. I'm sure there are cultures where wives endure much worse. Nevertheless, the constant reminder of Taiwanese marital infidelities is shocking.

1) Three girls/ladies I know have been hit on or flirted on by people that turn out to be husbands. Coworkers, friends of friends, etc. Considering I don't really know THAT many people here, three is quite a large percentage for this kind of statistic.

2) I've been told that Taiwanese men think that if you (a female) talk to them one-on-one, it means you're interested, and hopefully that will lead to sex. I think this is the result of a society where, at least in MY company, the women sit together, the men sit together. It's very highschool dance-ish. Or maybe that's just because I'm here in a Science Park which is predominantly male and so the girls have to cling to any other girls they can find.

3) I've been told of one case where a friend asked this married guy (who turned out to be hitting on her) whether he would sleep with a lady if she was willing. He said "Of course! As long as my wife doesn't know about it, why not?" Enough said there.

4) I've been told that there is a (one or more) motel/hotel where the rooms are equiped with sound buttons, such as MRT (subway system) sounds, 7-eleven door sounds, etc. So when the ol' nagging wife is calling, you can simply press a button and claim you're not in the sack with a 17 year old.

5) A conversation (maybe jokingly?) between a friend and her coworkers revealed that a lot of married men don't like to buy cell phones with digital cameras - which are popular these days. The reasoning being that their wives may ask them to "show" them where they are - like, through video conference.

6) There's a TV commercial I often see where a woman (W1) and her husband are shopping. Then a friend of hers (W2) sees her and says (while the woman's husband is in the background paying no attention to the conversation) --

[poorly translated, but you'll get the idea.]
W2: "Wow! Your husband has changed!"
W1: "Yes, he not only left the other woman, but he treats me better now than before. All thanks to ."
W2: "Really? Why don't you take me to that place quickly."
W1: "Okay, see you tomorrow."

So, this commercial tells me
(a) There's enough of a market out there for women with cheating husbands to open such a company and advertise on TV
(b) There's a high probability of two Taiwanese women with cheating husbands to be friends
(c) Taiwanese women will openly talk about their marriage problems, even when the problem spouse is nearby - who, btw, appears to be tamed to b!tch status
(d) Taiwanese commercial dialogue sucks

Anyway, everytime I hear that some married guy is flirting, having an affair, or trying to have an affair, it disgusts me. Makes me disrespect an entire nation of married men, unfair judgement or not. Something about a rotten apple spoiling something something.